I don’t know why it’s so hard to tell the truth, I really don’t.
Sometimes it just seems like it would be a simple shortcut to avoid the real hurt that comes with the truth.
Sometimes we lie to avoid the inevitable heartbreak.
Sometimes we lie to avoid hurting someone else’s feelings. Sometimes we lie to avoid hurting our own.
Whatever the case may be, would a world without lies and deception truly be a better place? I’m not sure.
But it’s interesting to think about.
I was with my best girlfriend the other day and she asked me what I thought about her new boyfriend.
Let’s call him Tom. I don’t really like Tom, if I’m being honest with you. But I didn’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings because she’s really into Tom, and is telling me all about how she thinks she’s falling in love with him.
She’s head over heels for the guy and they ’ve only been dating for a month.
I, on the other hand, have had even less interaction with him and there’s just something about the way he carries himself that just turns me off.
He doesn’t like to make eye contact, for starters, he’s very quiet, and he doesn’t always listen when you talk. Also, he sometimes dresses like he just rolled out of bed, and that’s really not something I can accept.
But I have to be nice, I have to be thoughtful of her feelings, and so I tell her I think he’s a great guy.
Would it really help my friend if she knew how I actually felt? Probably not.
Here’s a similar scenario, with a bit of a twist.
Another friend of mine was getting married and she selected me to go dress shopping with her.
It’s an important role. Most women won’t bring more than one or two of their closest friends with them, because otherwise, everyone would just disagree with one another.
So I was selected as her single opinionated friend. (And yes, I’m usually opinioned.)
I know it’s going to sound like a cliché, but she (let’s call her Mary) asked me whether she looked fat in this dress she really liked. I mean, she was just so happy she found it and I had to be honest, right?
No.I liked and told her she looked great. That might sound terrible of me, but to be honest, the dress made her look a little poofy. It isn’t her. She’s a fitness trainer with probably zero body fat, but it was this dress. It made her butt look really weird.
I didn’t say anything because I’m a sucker when I see someone overjoyed about something.
I have a hard time being the bearer of bad news, opinionated or not. When she got her wedding photos back, she realized the mistake she made with her dress choice.
She never directly scolded me for not figuring out how the thing made her look from behind, but let’s just say she doesn’t hang any photos up of her wedding around the house. Sometimes, maybe just sometimes, telling the truth is easier after all.